Innocence Lost

Today, for some reason, I bought a Kamen Rider Den-O DX henshin belt.

After a long time of contemplation, I baru bought it as a present to myself for graduating, for my birthday, for me getting my license, and for me being a toku fan.

The belt cost RM 230, biting a huge hole in my pocket. I didn't care, because I love Den-O, and I love tokusatsu.

But I made the mistake of telling my parents. They kicked up a hell of a shitstorm. Now I am forced to return it back to the store, since both of them felt it was not worth.

Now, see, to me, this belt is sorta a personal treasure. Finally. A collectible made mine. After all the shows I've seen, finally! A toy that I could collect. And I could even sell it, for christsake.

My last bit of childhood innocence was in that toy. Should I use toy? It's a collectible, in its last year of circulation in Malaysia. Come June or August, this collectible item is going back to the factory, never to be seen again.

Now, see, I realised that many people hate toku-lovers. When I took the belt to ask whether there was a promotion, the saleswoman gave me a dirty look, and said no in a rude way. I said my thanks and walked on.

When I took the belt to the cashier, an epic struggle inside me, the cashier woman practically ignored me, and started fixing her cashier, finally turning to me when she finished.

My friend voiced his objection, but as a friend he did not stop me, because that belt is what I like, and he knew.

I don't know what to do now. The toku-fan, the boy and the teen inside me tells me not to return it. The common sense though has nothing to say about this. As for the real me, I am confused. My heart tells me to keep this as a keepsake, but my mind tells me to return it. I DON'T WANT TO! I WANT THIS BELT SO BADLY! But why can't I keep it? It's mine! YOU MIGHT SAY IT'S FOR CHILDREN, BUT DO CHILDREN KNOW THE VALUE?

It's not a toy! It's a collectible! It's an investment opportunity! It's a link to innocence! Most importantly, it's what I want. A link to my past, my present and my future. It's a remnant of a fad in Japan, and it's mine.

So, I will return this toy tomorrow, and I will do so with a heavy heart, as my last remaining innocence is cut from me. Adieu, childhood, adieu.